Celebrity Autobiography: Everybody's Doin' It.

Vanna White’s had it done. So has Suzanne Sommers. Even...Mr. T. Nope, not botox. Although that's also a possibility, in this instance, all three of these folks have written an autobiography--but then again, they could have hired a ghostwriter. We’ll let you decide that one.

Yes, these celebrities and many others have life stories to tell, or have found another way to keep themselves in the spotlight once the glow has faded a little. They’ve taken their words and personal experiences and put them into books for all to read. And read, we have. And that’s just what Celebrity Autobiography, coming to NJPAC on October 30, is all about...with a little bit of a twist.

Comedians and other celebrities like Rachel Dratch, Kristen Wiig and Joy Behar have presented these memoir readings publicly in New York City for quite some time. “Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words,” a weekly Off-Broadway show created by Eugene Pack and Dayle Refel, is a hilarious tell-all of other celebrity lives. And not to really make fun of these celebrities, but to read and perform these words...with tongue firmly in cheek, of course.

The View’s Sherri Shephard has read Sex by Madonna. Instead of you reading about Madonna’s sexcapades, Sherri will do that for you with her own special touches added. In between being in Three’s a Company, Step by Step and doing her exercise videos, Suzanne Sommers wrote a poetry book titled “Touch Me: Poems by Suzanne Sommers.” Don’t worry--you don’t need to touch Sommers’ book or any of that poetry, since Kristen Wiig has brought Sommers’ deep, personal experiences to life. And as usual, it’s generally too much information, but that’s part of the fun...right?

You may think to yourself, Is this for real? Does this person really think those day-to-day thoughts? They really had that experience?” But this is real and serious to that celebrity, but entertaining and hysterical to us. It’s sort of amazing what the warped mirror of fame can do to a person’s life; it’s a good thing we’re here to find it funny.

Through these performances, we hear about these celebrities’ true inner thoughts and deeply personal stories. We learn how much effort Vanna White puts into her very brainless job at Wheel of Fortune (it’s really hard to turn those letters, and she keeps her teeth extra white by smiling into the showerhead). We learn about Tiger Woods’ fascination with stroking his putter (...too soon?). And, also, how Miley Cyrus really has no train of thought when writing her own book. This one goes so far off the map, that I’ll have to leave it to you to uncover.

Yes, Celebrity Autobiography is coming to New Jersey on October 30 at 8 pm, courtesy of your very own New Jersey Performing Arts Center. Comedians Rachel Dratch, Kristen Johnston, Scott Adsit, Rachel Dratch, and Mario Cantone; creators Eugene Pack and Dayle Reyfel and writer Alan Zweibel will be reading memoirs from celebrities just for you, New Jersey. This is an event you don’t want to miss! Besides, who would miss a night of great comedians reading horrible celebrity writing? I’m pumped, and I hope to see you there.